Sometime during our sophomore year in college, back in 1995, my future mother-in-law Cletis suggested Kathi and I watch a new TV show she just adored.

The show is about a group of six people, all in their 20s, that were really close, and spent a slew of time together. “They’re young, like you,” she shared. “And fun. I think you’d really like it.”

So we watched, and surprisingly, to me at least, I enjoyed it. Which was a good reminder to my almost 20-year-old self that teenagers don’t know it all. Mothers really do know best ?

The show has a memorable opening with a catchy tune. Even just humming the intro, with no words, might be enough of a clue.

DE-DE-DE-DUH-DUH-DEH-DE-DE…it’s Friends, of course.

The series follows Rachel, Ross, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler, over the course of 10 seasons and 236 episodes, as they learn to live as young adults, through life’s up and downs, supporting each other along the way.

Each episode, in its own right, mirrors the title of the show’s theme song: I’ll be there for you  by the Rembrandts.

For the six Friends always are there for each other, in profound and often funny ways.

In one scene Phoebe’s grandmother dies. When Joey and Chandler hear of it at their favorite coffeeshop, Central Perk, they hold Phoebe’s hand while Rachel rushes over and puts her arm around her. The Friends listen, support, provide empathy, helping Phoebe cope with the unexpected loss.

Phoebe shares the last thing her grandmother said to her when they were at the grocery store, “Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I’m gonna get the yogurt and we’ll meet at the checkout counter.” And y’know what? We will meet at the checkout counter,” Phoebe realizes, referring to the afterlife. The four share the insight and quietly agree.

Friends support each other in tough times, caring all the while.

In another episode Ross buys a new couch, and enlists the help of Rachel and Chandler to help move it up a flight of stairs. “Turn, turn, turn,” Ross directs, as the couch squishes Chandler’s head against the rail.

Pivot! Ross then exclaims, as they try to take another step up. Pivot! Pivot! Pivot! But the couch doesn’t pivot, and gets stuck in the staircase for good. Later needing to be cut in half to be removed.

Friends help each other move heavy things. Or at least they try ?

Then there’s the scene where Rachel is moving out of Monica’s apartment, and they’re both packing her things, reminiscing, feeling sad, even getting upset with each other. Phoebe does her best to lighten the moment, asking what it is Monica likes about Rachel.

“She folds down the pages of catalogs with things she thinks I’d like,” Monica begins.

“When I take a shower she leaves me little notes on the mirror.”

“When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.”

And the before you know it their fight is over and the two embrace. Friends help us see the best in each other. Friends also resolve conflict, restoring right relationship once again.

Laundry
Three days ago, Cheyenne Steward, Jo Hutchins and I went to the laundromat in town to hand out quarters, Tide pods and snacks to customers. It’s part of a new ministry Bethesda is sponsoring the 1st Thursday of every month. The premise is simple; we help wash clothes for low- and no-income families. Because everyone deserves the dignity of wearing clean clothes.

The experience was wonderful, and got us proximate to people black, white and brown, from all sorts of walks of life. With volunteering in the community you often end up getting more from the experience than you give, being rewarded with smiles, gratitude, delightful conversation. This was one of those days.

But it was watching people’s interactions with each other that made the biggest impression.

One woman brought her dog, a super cute Pomeranian. Several others took turns walking and playing with the pooch while washers and dryers churned. Two next door neighbors drove there together, because only one of them had a car. A pregnant mother brought her young daughter, and other customers sat and talked and played with the girl the entire time. People helped each other lug laundry in and out of cars in massive piles. And when machines malfunctioned they helped each other troubleshoot the problem, getting their laundry going once again.

I soon realized these weren’t just customers or clients we were spending time with, randomly sharing space together at a store. They were a community. They knew each other. They cared for each other. With all the helping and sharing they modeled it was even more than that.

They were friends. There for each other in times of need. Because –

Friends share rides.
Friends watch each other’s kids and dogs.
Friends troubleshoot problems.
Friends help each other move heavy things.

We church folk had merely been offered the chance to join in on the fun.

Not servants
Today’s text from John 15 is unique. It’s the only place in scripture where Jesus refers to the twelve he’d travelled with not as disciples or servants, or even students.

Those labels suggest –
Levels,
Hierarchy,
Separation.

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Instead, he gives the disciples a new identity. “I have called you friends,” Christ shares.

There is mutuality in friendship. It is where the vines and branches come together as one. Friendship is where the health of one impacts the health of all.

Friendship embodies loyalty, support, relationship, trust. Friends are there for each other, in good times and bad. No matter what.

The kind of friendship Jesus refers to involves more than just a passive term. For Christ has called us friends if we do something.

If we love one another. Just as Christ has loved us.

Christ makes a bold claim here: to love is to be a friend.
In matters of faith love and friendship are synonymous.

They are one in the same.

We can take this linguistic twist for a spin in some fun ways. Consider the greatest commandment using the language of friendship.

You shall be friends with the Lord your God, giving of all your heart and soul and mind. And you shall befriend your neighbor, treating them as well as you treat yourself.

The life of Christ, viewed another way, offers an interesting twist too. Consider Jesus’ resume, and what we are to emulate, through the lens of friendship.

Friends heal the sick.
Friends feed the hungry.
Friends clothe those without.
Friends calm fears.
Friends turn water to wine.
Friends welcome the immigrant.
Friends embrace people others discard.

Faithful friends do all that, not out of obligation, or because it’s the right thing to do. They do all that because living in friendship with God’s beloved brings us into divine harmony with one another. It brings us back to the original plan.

As it once was.
As it can be again.

Just as God walked side-by-side with Adam and Eve in the garden, we are to walk with others, as friends, modeling the friendship Christ extends to us.

A study conducted last year found over half of pet owners in the US say their dogs have more friends than they do. Think about that for a second. Many of our dogs have more friends than we do! Perhaps our furry friends have something to teach us of the importance of connecting with others.

Especially given Christ’s call to friend one another. Just as Christ has friended us.

Pivot
Returning to the Friends theme song for just a bit, consider the lyrics in a new light. As you listen, remember the friend we have in Christ. Be reminded of the importance of friendship with one another.

So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job’s a joke, you’re broke
Your love life’s DOA
It’s like you’re always stuck in second gear
When it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month
Or even your year, but
I’ll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I’ll be there for you
(Like I’ve been there before)
I’ll be there for you
(‘Cause you’re there for me too)

Love one another, yes. But take it a step further. As you encounter people through the journeys of life, no matter who they may be, try something else.

Be a friend. Amen.